An Ikea Adventure x Some Major Feels /
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Yesterday I had a mini adventure over at Ikea, the one next to Alexandra Hospital.
I’ve always loved going to Ikea ever since I was a little girl. However when I was younger, my parents would usually let me and my siblings go in to the mini playground slash ball pit area where we’d have our own kids time while the adults go shop for furniture, curtains and what not.
Now whenever my parents speak of wanting to go to Ikea, I always get excited and ask if I could follow them. I found myself liking Ikea more and more, not for the kids section but for all the products available there. Each time I see something that catches my eye, I start to think of how I’d like them placed in my future home. I automatically think about my future. As of right now, I feel like my future is still pretty bleak. Then again I figured, I do want to have a decent future. It doesn’t have to be extravagant nor anything along living the lavish life. So long I have a shelter I call home, a happy family and a successful career.
My favorite things about Ikea is their ideas and concepts of homes that are suitable for Singapore. Knowing how expensive it is to live in Singapore, and knowing myself enough, I doubt I’d wanna have a big house. Plus, I’d want a small family of say, 4 max? (InsyaAllah, hehe) Looking at all the different concepts, I felt like I was spoilt for choices. But of course, I wouldn’t do a 1-to-1 replica, duh. I started asking my mom for opinions and such. I felt like I was so in to this whole housing interior stuff. I was so engrossed that I actually wandered around the different sections and dragged my younger sibling along with me to check out the designs and products. I was noticing the nitty gritty things like the mirrors in the bathroom section, the shower head even. (What the... I know right, why was I even.. HAHA)
I began to think a little deeper about my future. (I have no idea why I had so much feels today oops?) I thought about how much of a mess I was and how I actually am unsure of what I really want. I honestly have no concrete idea or made any distinct decision about my future. So basically my whole post-graduation life is just work, work and more work. I didn't really have a work-life balance because I found myself having programs and camps every week. Back-to-back camps even. I even got labelled as a workaholic. Sigh. Moving on.
The more I roam around Ikea by myself, the more I felt the pinch about how time is flying by so quickly and I have got no direction. I do have plans, a few in fact. But I never really got the chance to work towards them. Mainly because I either didn't get approval or I'm plainly just not good enough. And this whole issue of not being good enough can branch out in to so many other stories that I have. Those unsaid reasons are how I came to derive to how useless I feel as a person sometimes. But that'll be another story untold for another day if ever I feel that I wanna share it or if you readers are keen to listen to my stories. Anywaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay.
I kept questioning myself repeatedly, what am I going to do for the next few years of my life. My mom and dad has been talking to me about getting hitched, furthering my studies, working~ I could really feel the pressure of them wanting me to tie the knot. Mom told me she'd be perfectly fine if I were to get married first before I further my studies. (HAHAHAHA HELP?!) I really am at a cross road now and I desperately am in need of help. Lots, and lots of help.
The past week has been really busy, I'd say. Both negatively and positively. A lot of things have changed. And that's probably the reason for so much feels lately. I'm tryna be as positive as I can be about everything that I'm facing and going through right now. But of course, with all these things happening at once, I do have a lot of things to be happy about too.
I'd like to take this opportunity to thank some friends and relatives who actually checked up on me and made sure I was okay by talking to me personally as well as dropping me a text as words of encouragement or simply constantly checking up on me:
Yanna Yazid / Sarah D. / OAG (Nurul + Lya) / Luq / Andriani + Isyaa / Mirah / Andhi
Nursyah / Mal Lee / Farhanah + Kam / Elfieyskandar / Alisha / Wan Curly / Shay Cullen
Affia / Kak Niza + Mama + Farihin + Zee / Alifah / Hdyt Rhmn / Syafiq Hassim / Ili Atq
Thank you guys. May God reward you for your kindness. :')
And with that, I hope to begin Ramadhan on a positive note, insyaAllah!
x, Nvrfa.
